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You ARE My Hero!
By Veronica Emilia Nuzzolo, M.Ed., Ph.D.
Understanding The Self-Defeating Personality
Self-defeating personalities display consistent patterns of detrimental behavior resulting in problematic situations and failed relationships.
These personalities create disappointing environments, become stagnant, and fail to accomplish important life goals. These individuals lack self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-acceptance. They are riddled with guilt and shame, and according to the definition of personality disorder, do have maladaptive processing methods that create problematic patterns of relating, perceiving and behaving. Their behavior does create problems in their daily lives, in their personal relationships, (preferring to stay and suffer in a bad relationship, rather than move forward in a healthy one, or to be alone,) and their off-putting behavior does diminish their ability to function in society. Social interaction is a significant component of any healthy relationship and is imperative when trying to establish relationships at a deeper level. The self-defeating personality, the consummate victim will be a people pleaser, will attempt to be optimistic, will attempt to lovingly commit, and then will wholeheartedly invest in sabotage. Their inability to love or even like themselves often leads to inappropriate choices and related conditions such as substance abuse, eating disorders, and gambling addictions, making any healthy relationship impossible.
By Veronica Emilia Nuzzolo, Ph.D., CADC
The sixteenth century Puritan belief of original sin, the ideology that children are born evil and need to be civilized through harsh punishment and authoritative parental control,,
“Tabula Rasa” “blank slates,” Philosopher John Locke’s opposition to authoritarianism, the concept that human characteristics are attained through learning,,
Jean Jacques Rousseau, innate goodness, the rejection of Puritan belief, the rejection of Locke’s theories, the concept of inherent goodness.
Innate goodness, the existence of evil, neither can be denied,, biblical concepts provide explanation for the existence of good and evil, but what secular concept can explain the existence of good and evil personalities. (more…)